The Many Shades of Anxiety Attacks

“Anxiety attacks aren’t always hyperventilating and rocking back and forth…”

It took me months to realize that I was having anxiety attacks. It started because a person I loved broke me in a way that I never thought was possible. The shock and devastation pushed me over the edge, an edge I never knew I had.

The reason I didn’t realize it was anxiety attacks is that I was always taught that they followed a pattern. I wasn’t well versed in mental health. But I understood specific illnesses, just not much since it wasn’t discussed.
Mental illness was not a topic of conversation.
It was taboo.
It was shameful.
It was to be kept a secret…

Those were the things that society had instilled in me. It took family members having PTSD from the war for me to educate myself. Little did I know, I would experience my own mental issues within a few years.

I remember the day I realized I was having anxiety attacks. It started off as usual, me walking down the street, on the phone. But that day was different because I was having an argument. It was a normal disagreement at first. But then he said something that flipped a switch in my brain and I saw RED. I couldn’t hear the cars on the street.  My eyes wouldn’t focus on my phone screen. I just felt my hands shaking. Then I felt like a boulder was on my chest, suffocating me.

I doubled over as I stood on the sidewalk, trying to breathe normally again. I put one hand on the ground and I let the feel of the concrete bring me back to reality. By then I had already hung up the phone and it took me a few minutes to calm down.

Since that day, over 8 months ago, I’ve realized MY anxiety attacks come in three forms.

Anxiety Attacks Come In Variety

ANGER. TEARS. ISOLATION.

My anger is to the point of rage.
My tears are never-ending.
And I cut myself off from the world.

Anxiety attacks come in many forms.
Rage. Irritability. OCD behavior. Fast-talking. Stuttering. Silence.
Evaluate yourself. Then, evaluate your friends. Lastly, evaluate your family. Just be aware.
Anxiety can cripple you and ruin your life…do not let it.

 

Have you ever had an attack at a very inconvenient time? How do you pull yourself out of your spiral? There is no right or wrong way. I simply love to hear new ways to take back your control.

XOXO
CASPER

Shares 0

Leave a Reply